Dawazam Magar

I Am the Star

I am like the universe; the more you study the more vast it will be,
I am like the open book; everyone can study me easily,
I am like a flower; the more you look the more you like to see,
I am like the nightmare; nobody ever wants to see,
Hence, I’m the star the more close it is the more bright it will be.

I am like a hole; the more you dig the more deep it will be,
I am like a creek; everyone can see its depth easily,
I am like math; the more you solve the more easy it will be,
I am like the mystery; which is hard to solve,
Hence, I’m the star the more close it is the more bright it will be.

I am like my country Bhutan; the more you visit the more you like to go,
I am like hell; nobody has ever desired to go,
I am like cotton; the more you touch the more soft it will be,
I am like the rough rock; nobody wants to touch me,
Hence, I’m the star the more close it is the more bright it will be.

Master of My Own World

I am the master of my own world. Do you think I am crazy? If yes, then you are wrong; if no, then also you are wrong. I am Dawa from Bhutan, student of Catalina Magnet High School. I am extremely concerned about my education, aspiration, occupation, gender, family status, citizenship, appearance and culture.

Firstly, when I see myself in the mirror I feel that I am good. I don’t care about my face much, but I really care about my weight and height. I am 5”1 inch and 109 pounds. When I was in Nepal I felt that I was tall because among my friends I was tall. When I came here, I too feel that I am tall, but when I go close to my new friends I realize I am not. I feel so embarrassed. Really it might be funny but when I see someone I feel that they are shorter than me. I really want to increase my height because most of the people here in America are tall. About my weight: I was slim, but now I am increasing my weight which I don’t like. I want to be tall like some Americans, but I don’t want to gain weight like most Americans.

I belong to the Hindu culture, but I usually say that I am Buddhist. This is because Hindus have a narrow concept regarding daughters. They made the culture that only a son can put fire on the funeral pyre of his parents and can finish the funeral ceremony. They say that if someone doesn’t have a son, their parent’s soul will not get peace. Not only that, they also think that only a son will look after their parents and due to this the gender discrimination starts. I don’t want to follow such culture which demoralizes my self-esteem or which makes me feel sorry to be a woman. I want to be an independent woman. My parents are of a different culture and language too, but they never force us to follow their culture. I am not totally against them. I do like to celebrate some festivals like Dashain and Dipawali. But I like Buddhist religion because there are not such discriminatory thoughts; they treat sons and daughters equally. I do know I can’t change the culture, but I also know that no one can force me to follow such a culture. Regarding culture, family status and gender, I see myself as a Buddhist, daughter and woman.
I spent eleven of my early years as a refugee, which is quite a bit less than other Nepali people. My life suddenly changed when I came from Bhutan to Nepal with my family. We had a wonderful life in Bhutan, but when we were exiled in Nepal I came to know that in the journey of life there is not always happiness. We didn’t even get the food supplies like other refugees for five years because we arrived late. Other Nepali people came between 1990 and 1992, whereas we came to Nepal in 2001. Consequently, we five children were separated to one in each neighborhood. At the age of seven, I lived separately from my parents. Though my aunt cared for me, I always felt lonely. In a way, I was lucky to get admission in school. In those five years we needed to go through the pain which we had never dreamed. Refugee life is like a flower without scent, fish without water.

We were not allowed to work and when we went out of the camp other citizens of Nepal dominated us. It was a nightmare for me. I always wished to remove the tag of refugee from my forehead. By spending my life as a refugee, I came to know what it means to just have citizenship. I am so happy because I will soon be a citizen of America. I don’t want to recall my past. I had a principal that said, “Past is past; it will not come back.” Though some may have spent wonderful days, a person can only smile or cry about their past; nothing more than that. It is better to forget the past and do good things in the present to make the future bright.

Now, I am student of Catalina and I am really fascinated with my studies. My education, my occupation, is the only thing that I own. It is so precious for me, like a hidden treasure, because it can’t be stolen by anyone. Regarding my education, I passed class ten in a refugee camp school and after that we needed to pay to study. Being a refugee was very difficult, but my parents managed it. I continued my studies, but the students of Nepal used to make fun of us. They called us tramps. I couldn’t complete school in Nepal because our process for America started. I was so excited to come here. I feel like my aspiration is quite near to me. I always dream to be a nurse and I know that I will be because I trust myself. When I was in class four, I read about Florence Nightingale and from that day she became my inspiration. I believe that a person should be responsible for his or her occupation. I take my occupation as a student seriously because it is the one and only way to achieve my aspiration.

In conclusion, I want to say that when I see myself I feel that I am the master of my own world because I am the one who needs to teach, realize, show the track for myself to get my aspiration, to increase my education, and to responsibly hold on to my occupation. I wish to make my parents proud of their daughter and to be an independent woman. It may seem quite different, weird, stupid, maybe crazy too, but no; I am not any of these things. I simply believe in myself.

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